All Men Will Cheat Until...
A commentary on Kristy & Desmond Divorce Saga
Every time a new cheating scandal breaks out, the reactions are predictably the same. The internet uncles and aunties dust their tripods, pick up their mics, press record, and share their unsolicited opinions.
Most flock to the comment sections of both parties to drop their two cents. Some will claim they saw it coming from a mile away and start flaunting their discernment abilities or their spiritual spidey senses.
Others find a way to excuse the cheating partner, while a few fingers turn to scrutinize the victim, dissecting her looks or her actions and explaining why she somehow deserved the betrayal.
Yes, I am deliberately using “she” to identify the victim. That’s because most times, the person on the receiving end of damage is the woman.
I agree with those who argue that we, the public, are oblivious to what really goes on in these couples’ lives, and therefore should refrain from commentary. However, since I am human and therefore a hypocrite, I will drop commentary.
Waking up to the news that Desmond cheated on Kristy did not shock me. Not because I saw it coming, or because I think he got tired of her as many people are presuming. I wasn’t surprised because I understand the human propensity for self-sabotage.
Many people are uncomfortable with stability. Sometimes, when life feel too perfect, too smooth, there is often an unconscious urge to introduce chaos. Especially when the rewards came without having to fight tooth and nail for it.
The healthy thing for a man who seemingly has it all; the wealth, the career, the fame, the hot wife, the healthy kids, would be to take up a hard hobby like blacksmithing or paragliding.
Instead, what many men do is go a-fishing between the laps of another woman who is lesser than their wife. Again, I am intentionally claiming “she’s lesser” because no secure woman of value is philandering with a married man.
Why is cheating so casual to men?
Why do they choose that dopamine-inducing activity, fully aware of the risk involved, instead of other dangerous but less destructive hobbies?
The answer is simple!
They bank on women’s silence and bet on their ability to stay.
For centuries, women across all social classes stayed. They stayed through neglect, humiliation, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and physical violence. They stayed while maintaining their husband’s image, protecting his reputation, and swallowing their pain in private.
Big thanks to modern-day feminism, which has given women room to choose happiness and peace, and to enforce real consequences for the actions of these men.
I am proud of Kristy Sarah. I am proud of Wizard Liz. I am proud of all women who chose the harder path of building alone, raising their kids alone, rather than performing happiness for the public just to keep a man who refuses accountability.
If all women kept this up, speaking instead of staying silent, leaving instead of enduring, allowing men to fully experience the consequences of their actions, men would eventually be forced to do better.